I won't lie, most mornings our kids come down and the first thing they want to do is watch tv. Most days after my oldest goes to school, I let the two little ones watch a show or two and I get my time in to read a devotion, jot down a little journal and pray for the day. And in even more honesty, I am sure there has been more days then most when the tv is on for a good morning so I can do more than my God time. There I said it:) Someday I want to strive to be that mom who has that all done before my kids get up, like I said, someday.
Right now we get up with our oldest and get her ready for school. She makes me look good (when she isn't having a wardrobe melt down). We bought her a devotional as a gift a few years back and this is the first year she has really gotten into reading it. She even has a "to do" list on her wall for her mornings and she has "do devotion" on it. My heart swells just writing this. We read it and pray right before she goes to get on the bus. This morning to add a little more mom bragging, she was the one who initiated it and prayed over me as I was still sleepy eyed. Holding on to these moments. Lord please carry this into her adulthood!
As for the other two, I usually pray with them before I do my devotion and like I said, Mari all on her own brings me something to read to her. I will be honest sometimes I just want to be left alone doing my own devotion and having my own time with God and much rather have them in front of the tv as usually I am silently scolding myself for not getting up earlier? I am sure that is what Jesus meant when he said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 Can I feel any more convicted?
I feel like I am making my devotion time sound "Christian Perfect." It is not like that one bit. Here is a recap of how most mornings go.
So to wait for their tv time, the two little ones eat and then go upstairs and play with these toy dinosaurs while I finish getting Dylan off to school. Somedays I feel like we are in our own version of "Ground Hog Day". It all goes and starts the same. About 9 o'clock Mari comes down as Hank is screaming in a bird like screech, "She doesn't want to play any more!!!" And he falls to my feet screaming and crying. I then ask Mari if she could give him a warning that she wants to stop in 5 minutes, and she just says, "No," as if it was nothing. Believe me, I know this is all coming most of the time and try to prepare them for it by asking Mari to give him a warning as they go up, she just looks at me with a "Yeah right" look;/ . This is usually where I start my daily deep breathing...
In the middle of Hanks tantrum, our kitchen ipod begins to blare Toby Macs "Me Without You." And Mari starts to groove to what she calls the "Yellow Eye" song. Talk about mixed emotions as I love to watch her dance and of all songs she picks this one, but then she also has her brother upset with her? Hank usually jumps into the song and they blare it about 2 more times. Mari now have some hand motions to go with it all....We then do a little reading and then the kids watch tv. For now the routine works for us....We really are working on getting rid of the tantrum (I hope). Like Bill Murray in the movie, no matter how much he tries the day before, it still happens all the same the next day! I can relate with this tantrum. I also realize the kids will all be in school in the morning next year and mentally taking in how much I know I will miss this. And thankful now that when I hear "Me without You" these flashback moments will flood my mind. Thankful that also when Mari is in a Taylor Swift phase of her life, she picks this song to jam too!
To be even more honest about this post, the last few weeks we have been in even more transition for us, as I am in daily orientation for a new nursing job and H and M are in "day care" ( can you hear me whispering that?) When you go from being a stay at home mom, all you can feel is the judgment arising when you tell people that, especially other stay at home moms. I need to write about that decision for us.....So I have actually been missing the daily tantrum.....So before I go to work I turn this on to get us prepared for what the day has before us as we are all counting down the days until my orientation is over and I will then work a few nights a week, so we can go back to our much later in the morning kitchen jams and tantrums (ok hoping the tantrums will not reappear!)...
"Me Without You"
These are my Mari Moments